How Animal Crossing Reminded me to Marvel at Being Alive or Life is Meant for the Mere Joy of it, Darling

Animal Crossing feels different than any game I have ever played before, I have played a lot of different computer games. It reminds me of the joy of being alive, after I play it a little while it makes me appreciate being alive and I want to go interact with life. Other games feel like they're pushing you along the story line, it's all about getting through, speed and with an objective and it makes me want to play the game more and more and ignore the real world. Animal Crossing is slow, everything you do is a win but not it a boring way, you feel celebrated for being alive and being in the mess of life and every aspect is enjoyable even breaking tools or something silly which in other games would be a penalty and a set back both are fun but Animal Crossing makes me excited to go back to the real world and just be, and live like I am in the game, to see, trying something as a win and way to earn points because the mere fun is in the doing.

Animal Crossing has reminded me to marvel at beauty of every day objects, in Animal Crossing you collect objects to display in your house, and you can't really use them so the whole point has to be to appreciate everyday objects as art and there are all kinds of different themes and different types of rooms you could create and it just ends up reflecting what you like but it feels more deep than like decorating a flair board on facebook( who remembers that?).  I guess today's flair boards would be pinterest and instagram where it's more about performance, showing off or keeping up with trends.  Collecting what I like simply because I like it. The atmosphere of the game also gives a sense of deep presence. One day I got a retro fan, its cream and burn orange straight out the 70s or my grandma’s house in my case and I took to my house in the game and turned it on and there is silence except for the glorious sound of fan hum, I listen to for a few minutes before turning off the game to go and listen to my real fan’s hum. This made me aware of how I drown out silence, I drown out white noise of a house with constant music or most often my own inner monologue of criticism and worries. Step into the present moment, out of my head and just listen to fan hum. 

The whole game makes me feel like a preschool age child again where every little thing is amazing. Do you remember that, a cool colored leaf  or stone was like finding money on the ground? Running with all your might, like you are being launched into whatever next activity instead of mopping or trudging along, running in circles because you can't contain the excitement. What are we excited about, not something limited to a preschooler's understanding, we are excited about LIFE or kicking joy around like a soccer ball. Joy is a toy that wants you to play with it again. 

It really does remind me of the mindset of a preschool age child, it almost makes me want to cry , because it feels like I have returned home. How did I get used to this miracle of being alive, the fun of it.  I am cutting it out today. Every day I pledge to be amazed by something. I used to think that losing the magic was a consequence of growing up but I think it's something I let happen to me, I got too serious about life and I got lukewarm about what I truly enjoy and I get afraid of getting messy and lost in the mess, the serious adult in me hears mess and hears messy emotions ( thats the adult seriousness again) by mess I mean: get out the paints, go through the family heirlooms in the basement, let it get a little chaotic through playing. 

I just want to say that I swear I can remember being this basket to the right it was a blast, I would play with the handle.

I get bothered by clutter, I now think this is mostly nonsense. It's both how Animal Crossing has opened me up to the idea of looking at everyday objects as art ,even clutter. In Animal Crossing you can buy stacks of paper, or a pile of cans or scattered homework, to me this really shows , who is calling clutter -clutter, its me, and it could easily be seen as beautiful or magical if I change my perspective.  I believe there is even is a form of art theory that looks at everyday objects as art and values the beauty in ordinary objects and the idea of seeing objects as more than just the solely for their purpose of how they serve me everyday. and also like I was saying about preschoolers being able to see ordinary objects as collectible, as special as money, preschoolers also really love having their own stuff and they take pride in it, having a chair that's just their size, having cups, plates and clothes with their favorite tv characters on them or in their favorite color.  I feel like adults see this as cute, but don't really note it, seeing it as a phase of being a child, or as businesses marketing products with kids' favorite tv characters to make money off them in every way and as the adult it is my job to have my stuff and home under control and to not get lost in the mess of stuff. but now I want to look at it differently.  Animal crossing has reminded me how the objects I choose to bring in to my space is opportunity to really let someone get to know me and show off what I love, I don't mean like pinterest or instagram where I try to have a picture ready home with this years trending aesthetic , I mean I  choose what I love, everything, from the wall paper to flooring to the little plants and knick knacks. I am going to collect what I love with wild abandon and I won’t dare worry about it matching unless it is what I like and want. What I love, just because I love it is my soul's expression, and it doesn't have to forever it can change but I now see objects as opportunity to show what I love and to express myself

Collecting is something I have always done and will always do. I collect lots of things. I have a jar of pebbles found at Lake Superior when I was up in college. I have always love knick knacks and antiques and remember trying to recreate my grandma's house at my childhood home not realizing that I would inherit almost everything I admired someday. As a kid, I believed my grandma to be an immortal being.

I now have a shalom cross stitch my mom made, my grandma's chair from up stairs with the fabric from the couch that I remember from my childhood but had long gone. I have hear collection of dog figures and so much more. I collect my favorite movies. I collect many things. I used to think it was a problem, one should find a niche or narrow it down, or give up your favorite collection childrens books that you have read repeatly as child. Loving stuff is wrong.

I have struggled with drowning in stuff and holding onto things that I need let go of and fully believe in not letting stuff have power over you, have power over your stuff. I have got rid of boxes and boxes of stuff when I moved. That being said, I have changed my mind about this. Life is about collecting, collecting experiences, figuring out what you like and dont like, all collections. Life with stuff is simple, even in Animal Crossing I do this because you have limited floor space and storage, like real life, you go through stuff once and while get rid of what you don't like anymore or only kinda like or someone gave you and you never liked it.

I remember my aunt and I talking about cleaning out my grandma's house and thinking we never wanted to have that much stuff but I loved my grandma's house so much that if it was possible which it was not I would have bought it whole sale and not changed one thing about it. Since her passing in 2020 I tried to figure out why it was so special to me, I realized that every square inch was an expression of my grandma. It changed how I see a full house when I go to an estate sale a full house was a full life.

Those dolls are from my grandma's house and the stack of books are by one of my grandma's favorite authors Chaim Potok.

Collecting things as a preschooler was about finding what felt magical to me and when you are child you are allowed to have really bizarre interests, interests that would puzzle the heads of adults. What made me realize this, was playing Animal Crossing Expansion Game Happy Homes Paradise where I was making a vacation home for a client who wanted a home with the theme of " waiting" and I created a one floor room with a rainy city night wallpaper, a faux road flooring and dimmed lights, so it looked like a desolate and cold bus stop or some kind of alternative dimension bus stop, complete with neon lights and a vending machine spot and hard cold plastic and connected waiting room seats and a collection small diner booth seats. By the time I was done, it looked like a bus stop out of a noir movie. And at the end I was laughing out loud because I was imagining having a planning meeting where I shouted out my ideas to make this room theme come alive, I am thinking dismal, I am thinking rainy cold city, I am thinking a janitors mop bucket, I am thinking noir bus stop, I am thinking post apocalyptic.  Oh, and my favorite detail that I gave it was an echo sound feature which made the room sound even more empty and dismal. I think that if an adult presented this theme as an idea for a vacation home to other adults I think the rest of the adults would be like --you can have a room look any way you want to look and you go with,  cold, dismal, waiting room, bus stop. That's an out of noir movie? When you think of a preschooler asking for this its just amusing and funny and that is exactly how it is in Animal Crossing and it makes me think about how when you are a preschooler you can literally like anything no one judges you, I mean like you can love your moms bra like a stuffy, your favorite hobby can be -- I personally love playing with my grandma’s adding machine,  which I can imagine now much to her horror when she found gibberish on her paper, I liked the sounds of the buttons and the sound of the paper printing, this is what I mean by bizarre,  your parents think it's funny most of the time.  

I hate doing the dishes. It fills me with anxiety and dread.   I have watched a lot of youtube videos watching people who love to clean messes, they will fly across the world to clean out an extremely cluttered and dirty home, that would have me going,” we have no choice but to burn it” but these youtube creators will pull up their boots with a grin on their face excited to dig in. I want that. I want to have that much joy at cleaning a mess, wouldn’t that make chores so much easier if it was fun, if I saw it as play.  I was doing dishes and thinking about this, and this idea of a preschooler's interests and animal crossing, I was wondering what I would do if a kid wanted a room that was set up for their full enjoyment of washing dishes. When you think about cleaning dishes like a preschooler what is not to love? It's messy, it involves water and has lots of accessories. I would set up the perfect play kitchen with a deep sink and lots of dishes and soap and a cute outfit and if I was creating this for my Animal Crossing friends I would also make a spot where you could make dirty dishes. Gasp. Do you see what I mean?  How this way of living could just change everything?  This is the joy of being preschooler, I don't even know what to call this, it's a special kind of magic that preschoolers have and I remember mine and I want it back, I think it's because to a preschooler absolutely everything is play and they want to part of every process of it, making the mess, cleaning up the mess, putting it back to begin again and make more mess, it is all play. It just makes me want to break down in giggles and laughter. What truth do preschoolers understand about life that most I forget, ah life is not meant to be so serious or even serious at all, and the joy of doing is worth it more than the product, I say this and then I hate it because adults and I get these phrases and the squeeze out every ounce of joy they can from it and make it serious and precious, what I mean by the joy of doing is worth more than the product or end is ---it like jumping on trampoline, or just jumping in the air ,what's the purpose of this act- the mere joy of it darling, life is meant for the mere joy of it.

 I want to go back here, and embody the wisdom of preschoolers and I don't think this power is limited to preschoolers, I just have to retrain myself. I think the first bit is not to take everything so dang seriously. Life really is about creating whatever room that lights your fancy with absolutely no judgement. Fill it with books, fill it with baking stuff, what do you love? I would love to have the disney theme cups from the 90s, you could collect salt and pepper shakers, the sky is the limit, collect like a free ranged preschooler, don't hold back.

I want to let her call the shots for the day, week, weekend and year and see where she leads me. Let her color to her heart's content.  Let her read books to her heart’s content.  Let her find some messes. Let her run and kick the ball of joy around. The other thing too, is give her projects that I would find to be chores - like cleaning the kitchen but preschooler time and adult time work differently, you just got to let them have at it. For me personally the hardest part is giving myself to the pleasure of being alive...just letting myself get immersed in it. If focus is a pool, I have hard time letting go of the edge or jumping in, I have this underlying fear if I let myself forget time and space which is what will happen if I let myself fully focus on something - something bad will happen, I feel like I am going forget something, like I am going leave something on the stove and catch the house on fire or that I will dive in and when I look up from what I am doing, realise it was daylight when I sat down and it is now pitch dark out and it makes it hard for me to get lost in the mess.  However, part of being lost in the mess is losing yourself in time, that's half the fun but it scares my adult self.  Immersion is the point though, it is part of the fun. I believe in her to be able to bring joy and excitement and fun to everything. She loves getting into messes. My prejudice comes in that she won’t be very thorough, she will be sloppy or make it worse, hello mom, this is so my mom’s voice not mine, sorry but it is. I think what my inner child needs is to be taken off the hook for making some messes, she is on a new level now and is better at managing her time and seeing the potential pitfalls like leaving things on the stove. She doesn’t need to not swim just because she is afraid of getting carried away or losing time. Maybe she needs to change that meaning it's not losing time, but being fully engaged with time and life where time disappears and she is just present and alive.

Part of the whole fun of the play of everything, is the details, get everything just right not in a correct way but in that it feels authentic and she can have a full experience of the game whatever the game we are playing is. Everyone makes mistakes, little kids haven’t fully mastered having total control over their body and I feel like the desire to do better and to master actually comes with time, to expect to have it perfect the first time is the adult's seriousness again. Each new “art project” or cupcake to decorate or game level is an opportunity to be more creative and to be more enthusiastic about details. I worry about having it  perfect, having it perfect right away, and a child-- they like get the details but they see each new project as a new level, like a game, and they let the process of doing teach them about the details , what I mean to say is the first cupcake they decorate probably won't be the best or favorite usually the third or fifth cupcake its starts to look really fun and exciting and then they start to clean up edges and want to get into "practicing skills" out of the creativity,  fun and joy of it, I am not sure what nonsense I want to call what I do but, like I said in previous paragraph I  manage to suck the joy out of everything and make it drudgery when it doesn't have to be. I want to channel my inner preschooler—details, imagination, and wildness. Believe in her; give her the goal, and she’ll bring excitement to everything including chores.

 I also think that it's about letting ourselves do what we love but also letting us soak into it like a bath or pool, fully immersing ourselves in the pure delight of it. Its unserious silly joy and full embodiment and gifting ourselves the greatest gift of all, letting ourselves go hog wild into what we loving doing, i do not mean like an adult who does shit lukewarm and half in or makes everything work and drudgery, I mean like preschooler who would just light up full body with joy at prospect of a room filled with nothing but his current love of "playing kitchen" that included every aspect, dishes to wash, a sink to wash them and a spot to make more messy dishes- this would boggle the mind of adults and I who would see this as work and insanity of never ending dishes, because preschoolers know the secret , that everything in life is play, and that life is not meant to be taken so seriously and that we are meant to get a little messy because we are embodied joy. Life is a swimming pool of any delight we choose. What's yours? The benefit of growing up into adult, is the same reason why it's good to be alive and come back after playing Animal Crossing for a while, because in this adult life everything is real, we can use every object in our life, we can make real bread, we can make fancy cakes, we can't do this in Animal Crossing or as preschooler because we haven't developed hand eye coordination or learn to read yet and aren't allowed to use the stove yet, or drive. But I ,you ,us as an adult can do these things now, let your inner preschooler play.