Beautiful Billowy Now

Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall, It’s all a different flavor of now,

Beautiful billowy now.

I have been thinking lately about an abundance mindset vs a lack mindset. Asking myself if I was loaded with money what would I do differently? Then to see if there are ways, I could start doing it now. One way that showed up was I would take my time with everything, and I would never let myself feel hurried or rushed again. This is not about being on time or allowing myself to be late but cutting out the habit of feeling like I need to always be in a hurry, getting through things quickly or even getting caught in the cycle of constant doing, of do lists or even activities of any kind, yes our constant need to be doing things and being “productive’ has worked its way into how we spend our Saturdays and Vacations—packed full of doing.

Exploring this idea, I saw how this is a lack mindset and it even affects my anxiety about choosing what to do for fun. It gives me a huge dose of FOMO – like there is not enough time to do it all-its panic inducing and enough to cause me to get stuck in nervous system freeze and thought spiral, stuck on the floor with spit dripping out of my mouth in a panic that I won’t get it all done while aware I am frozen on the floor and not even getting one thing done.

Choosing to never hurry ever again is a radically bold move—for abundance because I am saying energetically that there is enough time to get everything I need and want done. The summer is another season that is a big marketing period that I think is comparable to Christmas/Holiday Season, in summer they are selling you the perfect dream summer through advertising and store displays-get it in before its gone, beach days, pool days, family vacations, garden projects, oh don’t forget school and Halloween are on deck too and yes, you know, that secretly we are also reminding you about Christmas too. Ope, the year is gone.

Come back dear one, to the billowy now there is no hurry, breath, pause, presence is the only thing you need and it’s free.

Come to the present dear one, each season is a new now with a different theme.

Stillness is presence but it isn’t necessarily still-it’s just sacred noticing, sacred witnessing, the world around you in this moment, sacred being. Giving yourself, the gift, of the—present.  

The world society is always telling us to hurry, so,

-sitting by a bonfire

-on porch swing

- Walking a trail slowly taking in the summer day –listening to the cicadas, the sound of airplanes flying above or gentle sway of branches

-The feel of a cold glass that is so cold it has condensation it feels crisp and refreshing to the warm air

-the hum of an air conditioner or fan

-Popsicles – Grape, orange, lime

-Reading in screened in porch

-Reading on a lounge chair pool side, or under a tree or in a patch of warm sun.

-Swimming in an outdoor pool

-Running around through the liquid sun or shade on the ground in the glorious shelter of tree branches that dance.

Why is this considered stillness, quiet time and presence –because it is not hurrying or worrying or feeling like you need to justify existing through constant doing.

To me this isn’t about overconsumption or even capitalism. It’s not about doing or not doing, buying or not buying.  It’s just overcomplicating something that’s really simple.

We don’t need more stuff or just right experience, we just have to let ourselves slow down, enough to be available –joy is in the present –no matter what you are doing, so if you can’t be present, you won’t find it in Fiji or in the new Halloween decorations.

Come sit still and slow down and then decide what sounds like “Wheee-eee!” and “haaah”.

List of Wheee-eee! and haaah”

-       Crafts – suncatchers, windcatcher crafts, watercolors, sidewalk chalk

-       Fresh and chilled slightly sweet fruit drink or tea

-       Long and slow walks through a wooded path where you can still see some or most of the sky.

-       The movie -My Best friend’s Wedding

-       I would love to make a year trip back to Chicago/suburbs even though Grandma and Uncle Donnie are gone.

-       Bonfires and smores

-       Cute summer clothes

-       I want to go to the aquatic center

I am trying to imagine being loaded with money but it’s just an abundance mindset where the whole life experience is a string of now moments, it’s a vacation, a trip and amusement park to get lost in. This mindset is different from the mindset I have had before, approaching each day like something to get through, this is the mindset that makes the year go by too fast because I am not in it, I am worrying, hurrying and focusing on the next thing. Instead, I will wake up and ask myself “what do I want to experience today?  How do you want to enjoy yourself today?”